How can you admit that?(Because if I don’t acknowledge it, it will always have a place in my life)
Can you have normal relationships?(Yes I choose to build authentic relationships)
Do you trust men?(Yes, 2 broken men do not define all of man)
You probably don’t trust anyone.(I trust easily and with an open heart)
Aren’t you scared people will judge you? (Don’t judge me by my past, I don’t live there anymore)
I can’t believe you are as successful as you are.(I deserve to be successful and all other things I have worked for in this life)
Wow!(Yes it’s WOW for me too)
All of those things and a few more are reactions I’ve had from friends that I’ve been brave enough to share this site with. I have not shared this with everyone I want to – yet. I will when I’m ready as I know not all reactions will commend my bravery and courage but may find others crawling into that space of shame, guilt or embarrassment. I knew that people would have reactions and all that I can hope for from these reactions is some form of awareness. Although it does not always seem like it, life is a journey of decisions or better yet choices. I have a choice to live in the dark, misty summer night and continue to allow that darkness to encompass my life and whole being or I can choose to walk out into the light and let the world shine on me. There are days on this journey that it would be easy to crawl back into denial and undeserving as we all know old habits die hard. You’ve all been there, you rally the courage to do something new, something out of the box and right before it’s time – you think no I can’t do this, no I won’t enjoy this or what was I thinking? Then something happens – you do that ‘thing’ and afterwards you think – that wasn’t so bad, I rocked that or I can’t wait to do that again. That feeling that comes through you motivates you, energizes you and pushes you to move forward. How rewarding to enable yourself to self-motivation. Personally, I never differentiated between motivation and self-motivation, motivation was motivation. Self-motivation for me now means that I can take the energy that I get from being courageous and brave and channelling it into becoming a better person every day; I can grow, learn and inspire others. Once I started to step out into the light of the world – my biggest realization was that life is a journey and not a destination. I know you’ve all read that before but it takes on a new meaning once you realize that are not only on that journey but that you are in control of it. Are you in control of your own journey?