It’s Monday, the start of a new week after a wonderful weekend filled with love and acceptance. I finished my coaching experience with Choices this weekend and I’m a bit sad about that. I’m sad because watching these people grow into their place of self-love, acceptance, worth or whatever it is that they needed has been nothing short of watching miracles happen and I’d love the privilege of continuing to watch them on their journey. I’m going to miss seeing the changes in their faces and the light in their eyes when they walk back into the Choices rooms. We are told as coaches on the very first day to “love the people who walk through the doors exactly where they are at” and we do. We meet the trainees at exactly where they are at because we were all in that same place when we walked through the doors to start our journey.
When I walked through the doors to start my journey I felt like I was in a pretty good place. I knew that I would get value from this seminar and I knew that I’d walk away a better person. The thing is, I thought I’d walk away a better person for others, I’d be more accepted and less judged by others. Little did I know that being a better person, being accepted and not being judged was my stuff to work on inside. I felt like I’d be able to bury my baggage deep down never to be found. The fact of the matter was that I did walk away a better person, more accepted and less judged but it was for myself. I didn’t bury my baggage – I ripped it open, tore it apart piece by piece and threw away the ugly parts I couldn’t control. The parts that were left over were the parts that allowed me to understand where I was at and why I was there. It was hard work but worth it beyond an explainable measure in words. The coaching experience took that level even higher and even more rewarding – I learnt that we are never really done tearing that all apart and that when we least expect it, some form of our story will creep up and very quietly take us back 2 or 3 steps however the more time you spend in the choices room, the more easy it becomes to be aware of your steps backwards and the more equipped you are to deal with it and move forward.
My 2 or 3 steps back this time have been in the form of feeling lonely. I am craving deeper connections with people. I want to get to the next level with those around me and I want them to allow me in to do that. After this weekend and watching the relationships that have formed within the group and the friendships that will last a lifetime, I need to do a check. Why am I feeling like I don’t have connections in my life and why am I feeling lonely? As I write this, my main thought in my mind is that I haven’t taken a lot of time for just me lately. I haven’t stepped out of my routine enough to allow good things to happen. I have had an incredibly busy schedule this month and because of that I have stepped back into a place of control and when you control everything around you, you aren’t doing yourself the justice of allowing new things in. I think we all do this in some form – we are scared to let new experiences in or we just don’t realize we aren’t making room to allow it to happen. Do you make room to let new things in or to let new people into your heart? Are you craving something in your life that may just be knocking on the door and you have no idea it’s there because you haven’t opened the door to let it in?
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thanks for the extra thoughts, questions and awareness
Thank you for taking the time to read Monica. What you say is exactly my purpose in sharing! 🙂
Great insight — and questions Tanya — it was wonderful to coach with you and to be part of your circle of love. What a gift you were to everyone in the room and throughout the journey. I look forward to continuing the journey with you.
Louise – it is an honor to be within the same space as you. Your energy radiates and continually reminds me to not take myself so seriously. Thank you for that.