I had a conversation with a friend the other day. We were talking about the random happenings in our lives. Our children are close in age so typically the conversation revolves around the kids and what they are up to. This day we talked about things on a different level. Somehow the conversation came to me saying – “You have to believe that you are deserving of it”. As I was saying that – I felt a twinge in my stomach. It’s easy to say to others what they need to hear and what you want them to hear but we ourselves don’t hear what we’re saying.
“You have to believe you are deserving of it” is very powerful. It ties to so many things that I struggle with. In order to be deserving, you have to feel worthy. In order to feel worthy, you have to feel accepted. As the conversation carried on my thoughts were swirling around in my head about how connected it all was. For so many years I lived in a place of needing acceptance from others. I was the person that said what I thought they wanted to hear and acted the way that I thought they wanted me to act. When I left my marriage – I made a promise to myself that if I was starting over than I was starting over as myself.
Being yourself can be hard, it can be scary and it most certainly can have it’s challenges. The people who are around you and watching you change often are scared of what you are becoming. They are not scared in any other way than fear of the unknown. You see – we’re all scared of the unknown and when you decide that you are going to be who you truly are – you are throwing them right into the center of unknown. I love what I have created in my life by being myself, I have cultivated genuine and authentic relationships and I feel like I am a blessing to this world. If you don’t feel like you are surrounding yourself with genuine relationships – take a look at who you are in those relationships.
Knowing deep inside that allowing myself to feel deserving has brought some wonderful memories, people and things into my life lately, I am starting to feel a sense of comfort in being myself. I am starting to feel that myself is a comfortable person to live in. I feel warmth, contentment and peace with who I am. That is the power in “believing you are deserving of it”.