How privileged am I to have spent yet another weekend at Choices seminars? I am so very blessed to have had the opportunity to attend this program 2 years ago. This weekend brought a new light to my life once again. It wouldn’t be a weekend at Choices if you didn’t have some sort of self-realization while you were there. I had the honor of being a part of 4 people’s journeys as they started right there in front of me. As I was reflecting this morning as I always do after a weekend in Calgary – it came to me that I just needed to express my utmost gratitude to the people behind Choices. I sent an email off to express my over whelming thankfulness for the program but not without putting together some puzzle pieces for myself.
I have been in complete awe of how my life has transformed in the last year and just trying to bask in all that’s been given to me however I really wanted to understand how I got there. I wanted to know that when I felt like I wasn’t in this same space of gratitude – how would I get back here? Words seem so cheap when I’m trying to explain what has come together for me in this moment.
I likened my journey to very carefully turning over stones in my path. Small stones though – the ones that you can turn over easily and know that not too much lay beneath in the darkness. Those were the stones that I worked on for the first year after I attended this seminar. They seemed so large looking back however one step was better than no step at all. I was carefully treading down the path that I had chosen at the “Y’ in the road. As the small stones started to dwindle I was left with larger stones, the ones that I continued to leave in my path so that I could trip over them and land on my face. Then I wondered ‘How many times must one trip over a stone to realize that if you turn the stone over, it will no longer be in your path?’. These stones were the ones I started to work on after I coached the seminar and realized how much I wasn’t working on myself but how I was focused on preaching vs. living. Practice what you preach is how I lived one might say. As the tools were refreshed and I was more confident in my use of them, my life started to change. I started attracting new people into my life, one of them being the man who has found my soul, I started to feel light, I felt contentment. I was starting to realize that your journey never ends, you never get to a point. There is always more to strive for. My path has started to become a very gently packed road with stones of all sizes along the way – my choice now becomes:
Is the tiny stone worth the energy I may need to invest in it? It very well could be however I correlate these to the day-to-day things that may upset me, they may annoy me but I literally have zero control over them. These are the throw my hands up, find the value and continue the path never looking back in the rearview mirror.
The larger stones, the ones that make me work up a sweat to move them – what am I going to do with these? I know that no journey is without its pain or sorrow. No journey will be without struggles and burdens for if it was that easy; we’d all have it figured out. I will accept these stones in my path, I will commit to sweating it out and working hard for the lesson to be learnt. I will be brave.
There was an exercise at Super Choices that essentially challenged me to be brave, that told me I was the one holding the key to the prison in which I had held myself. I could not understand what brave looked like for me. I struggled with the word brave because I always told my children to be brave and here was their mom not even knowing what brave looked like for her. It came to me today as I wrote my letter of gratitude – I not only needed to be brave in the expected times of life that are scary and unknown but I also needed to be brave in the good times. I needed to bravely and courageously allow myself to accept these good things in life. Time of pain, struggle and burden are scary but so are times of happiness and joy for those of us who have thought that we were not deserving of these things. I am shaking my head in awe as I type these words with tears falling down my face. I am brave and I will accept life in all its challenges but I will also accept it in all its glory for I am a Worthy Woman!
It’s always a great weekend at Choices Tanya. Even after almost 9 years of being in the seminar room, I come away with Aha’s! Love it!
Having Aha moments will never get old to me, it absolutely amazes me once we stumble upon the Aha how it has affected our life to that point. Thank you for being a part of my journey Louise!