Transformation

March 8, 2016.Tanya.1 Like.0 Comments
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I updated my website today – hope you like it as much as I do.

I felt like I needed a change.

It’s been 2 years since I started this blog and put myself out there for the world to see. I still remember that feeling when I shared it for the first time, I was nauseous and scared yet somehow excited? My soul knew it would be good for me to let it all out, to write, to heal, to learn. Each post is a life lesson for me that I embraced in that moment.

Well here I am in another one of those moments. I have lost my job as many others in our province have due to the decline in the oil price and the Canadian dollar. I was confident that I would stumble but that I would not fall, I would press forward and embrace it as an opportunity to change my direction or perhaps take a new path. As the end of the month draws closer and I am only weeks away from officially being unemployed I am now scared. I have many options running through my head about what I want to do with this opportunity but I am stuck in fear.

I know you’ve been there, we’ve all been there.

It’s like standing in the mud with rubber boots on, you pull and pull to no avail and then realize that you can just step out of your boots and carry on. I’m stuck in my boots right now and I know I can just step out of them but I don’t know where to go from here.

I can continue to look for employment and accept whatever I can find in times like these.

I can alter my course and seek employment in something more fulfilling for me; helping people.

I can get re-educated on something that matters to me.

I can start a home-based business that will allow me some flexibility.

OR

I can take a few months of my life and just breathe. Just be.

I want that last one badly.

I want to spend my time with the kids, I want to make memories with them, I want them to remember the summer that mom didn’t work and how much fun we had. How good of a mom I can be without the distractions of day-to-day life. I want to teach my amazing step-daughter things about life as she enters into her last year of high school, perhaps the most significant of all of those being that we are all enough no matter what we are doing.

There it is….that’s my fear.

I will not be doing enough if I just take time to be; otherwise known as “I am not enough.”

I have never not worked, I have never not had things going on in all the corners of my world. This would be a stretch for me way out of my comfort zone but I think it’s time. It’s time to unwrap myself from the cocoon of my comfort zone and transform one more time for through each transformation of life comes a transformation of the soul. I am Enough.

-tl

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